I received a call from an unknown number this morning. Immediately, I began hoping that it was a Gradschool telling me that I would be admitted into to their program for this fall. The anticipation that has gripped me for the past couple weeks (and particularly this morning) is perhaps instructive in making my mundane life into a more numinous one.
Anticipation is perhaps characterized by the following sentiment: every single moment could be the moment where the desired thing happens. Thus, every potential sign of the occurrence of the anticipated moment is savored.
It seems, however, that my anticipation is misplaced. After all, I’m not sure if God is even “ready” for me to leave my current educational institution. Perhaps instead of waiting for validation from distant professors, I should be eagerly anticipating the will of the Divine in my life. Every moment could be the moment when I figure it out, or every moment could be the moment when it is revealed.
Perhaps this shift in anticipation could be likened to that of a want-to-be disciple. It seems likely that word of Jesus’ entrance into a town would naturally spread. Moreover, it seems that there might have been other disciples who wished to join Jesus’ cause. I can imagine their eager anticipation. They knew that Jesus was in the nearby region. They new that at any moment, they could be called to a life of discipleship.
I need to anticipate a different call from the one that I’ve been anxiously awaiting.